Things that make me want to beat down other law students -part 1

FYI: These annoyances are in no real order than how they pop up in my head. And be prepared I am in a bitter rant kind of a mood.

#1
Annoying and bitchy girls who get married over the summer (particularly between 2L and 3L) who then lord their newly married status over everyone and anyone like they somehow managed to broker world peace or have become the great and powerful Oz. I mean seriously people get over it. You got married. Hurrah. So did like a zillion other people and most of them have not let it go to their head. But you oh bitchy one, have no problem calling out students and professors alike for committing the unforgivable act of referring to you by a name that up until about 3 months ago you had gone by for your entire freakin life. Truth be told you only have about a 50% shot of not getting divorced anyway. Now add your bitchy superior attitude and that stat probably takes a freakin nose dive. So calm the f down. If you couldn't be bothered to get your lazy ass down to the registrar at some point to inform them of your new name and have the roster updated, then don't be pissed when your professors and classmates fail to consult their magical crystal ball to figure out that now you (who is listed on the role as Ms. Buffay) will now only answer to Mrs. Banana-Hammock. It's not an f'in Greek tragedy and its not going to shake the very foundation of our society for you to just answer when your professor asks for Ms. Buffay. We all know that its still you. Its not like you joined the witness protection program. You just got married. Grow-up and stop giving married people a bad name.

Editor's Note: I would like to point out that I have no problem with all the women who did tell the registrar and had their name changed. More power to you to go by your new married name. I appreciate that you took the time to go through the proper steps and that while you prefer your married name you will most likely still answer to your maiden name. You are not the people this rant is referring to.


#2
1Ls who on the first day of classes form study groups in the common area. There are so many things wrong with this. 1st: the common area (especially in the first week) is for socializing not for serious studying so stop glaring at the rest of us over your Torts book and the Emanuel's you only bought cause some random 2L you met in the bookstore told you it was awesome. If you insist on being that study oriented already then find somewhere else. We are not going to be quiet for you. 2nd: why are you already breaking up into study groups? You have no idea if these people are: a) idiots, b) assholes, c) remotely similar in studying techniques, or d) have the same basic law school philosophy as you: slacker, gunner, or a mix of the two. 3rd: why would you brand yourself as a 1L? You are probably already giving off the "I'm scared out of my mind and am completely lost" vibe, why are you adding to that by being a study bug on the first day. Do you have an overwhelming desire to be mocked?

#3

People who only ask you what you are going to do after law school just so they can pretty much cut you off to tell you all about their fabulous post-graduation job offer. These people seem to get a perverse sort joy of hearing you say you don't know and then you can physically feel their attitude of smug superiority. All I have to say is Hooray for you! I am glad that you have a job and honestly I hope it is a good fit for you. I hope that if you are an asshole (which chances are high you are since you just pulled the "ask about you only to highlight how awesome I am" move) you are rewarded with a job at a firm that is filled with other assholes so you can make each other miserable. I hope that you get exactly what you have worked so hard to get: cut-throat competitiveness, backstabbing, 90 hour work weeks, tiny dark cubicles, angry bitter superiors, and fellow associates that would gladly throw you under the bus if it meant a scrap of positive reinforcement from a partners. Congratulations baby, you earned it! So you just go on looking down on me for not having a job yet. In twenty years we shall see who has the drinking problem and 3 failed marriages and who has the last laugh after all.