"Pick me, Choose me, Employ me"

So boys and girls the time has finally come...I have my first real adult job interview this Friday. It’s for a clerkship with a circuit court judge and I am primarily excited and nervous yet somehow still a little apathetic. The first worry is the interview itself... What writing sample is the right one? How will I convince someone I am capable and qualified when I don't feel that I am either? Basically in 3 days I have to create the Me that is excited about the law, intelligent, ready to take on any challenge, self-confident, and excited to be a lawyer and hide the Me that is apathetic, bitter, disillusioned about the legal system, and so full of doubts about my legal abilities that it is amazing I function. In essence I must rediscover the "me" that got accepted to law school and has since been beaten into submission by 3 years of school, summer legal experience, and getting to know more attorneys. And to add to it, exams start next week so my forthcoming obsession about preparing for the interview then over analyzing every word said will directly interfere with my already lacking exam preparation. Ugh.
Now on to the job itself: On one hand, clerkships are good experience, look good on resumes and it means I won't have to work at a soul-sucking firm. The job seems like it could be okay and at the very least it has good M-F 8-5 hours, state benefits, and the state holiday schedule. But on the hand, I'm still not sure I even want a legal job never mind a job with a judge, and by taking the interview I have basically said that if he picks me I will take the job. It doesn't sound all that exciting (but truthfully no legal jobs do) and it could be really intense. Clearly this guy likes the law and knows more than a bit about it. How will I be able to survive a year or two of a job where I am expected to actually know the law? Will this just beat out the small amount of self-confidence I have left regarding my intelligence and ability to have a career? I don't want to bite off more than I can chew and end up sucking. Then again maybe I will know the law by the time the bar rolls around and clerkships are usually classified as learning experiences. Sigh... decisions.
Ultimately I know this interview is a good thing and I hope I get the job. It would be amazing to no longer have the lack of job dangling over my head like the Sword of Damocles. It would be nice to have something in my future settled and to be able to plan knowing what my financial situation will be like and where I will be living. Logically, I know I have a decent shot and obviously I don't suck too badly or I wouldn't have even gotten an interview, but that is hard to truly believe. I just have to ignore my insecurities and be bold.

"As Professional Responsibilty Turns"

Today's Very Special Episode: The Anti-Teacher's Pet*

Professor: You (as he points at me) what is interests conflict?
Me (barely even conscious, never mind paying attention) : A conflict between two interests.
Prof: Um, yes that is true, but how about a more expansive definition.
Me: Well when you as a lawyer have one interest and your client has another, thus a conflict.
Prof: Not exactly, how did we describe this earlier this class period?
Me: Yeah sorry, I got nothin'.

And that, my friends, is pretty much a nutshell of how I roll now that I am a 3L. And evidently this lack of caring has been met with open arms by my classmates as 3 people have already come up to me telling me that this exchange is the highlight of their PR semester. Yep that's me, Apathetic Law Student, making law student's lives a little brighter one smart-ass apathetic comment at a time.

* This episode was brought to you by the letters F and U

A forgotten generation

So in honor of Veteran's Day tomorrow. I thought I would post this New York Times article:

Taps for WWI veterans

I can't claim credit for finding it (Chris' blog) or writing it (a journalist named Lisa Hoffman) but I can tell everyone to read it. It is amazing to think of what these men did for our country and how quickly they were forgotten. They are the few remaining members of a truly amazing generation that often gets overlooked and under appreciated. They have lived through some of the most monumental moments in our countries history. These men remind us of how far our country (and in some ways the world) has come yet how far it has left to go. They have so much to teach us but there are very few left to pass the message on. Hopefully we can start listening before there is no one left.

Crazy Times

Well it has been some crazy times since my last post. I have been pretty sick and have discovered that I am pretty allergic to my roommates dogs (well one of them) so I will be moving. It is much sadness but my roomie has been really awesome about it all and its not like we are going to not hang out with each other all the time. So the last week of so has been full of apartment hunting and freaking out about when I could possibly handle moving. After some big misses (ie the apartment that my father said could turn into a fiery inferno of death) I have finally found one. I think its pretty nice, I know people who live in the complex and don't hate it and my father approved of the location (which is a giant hurdle). And best of all, I should be able to both pay the rent and eat, which is something thats value cannot be diminished. Besides the escape from the runny nose and itchy eyes I think tone of the things I am looking most forward to is a dishwasher. How sad am I? I have always been a little hesitant to live in an apartment complex because I like the originality of old houses that have been made into apartments or small little independent blocks of apartments, but honestly I was just freakin tired of looking and decided that I can deal without the charm of a cute little apartment if it means finally having something in my life settled. So the application has been filled out and the security deposit and administration fee paid. Hopefully come late December I will be moving in.
Um... other news. Well, I am officially blonde now and I love it. Its a medium to dark blonde base with two different shades of light blonde highlights. It took forever to get it done (read 3.5 hours in that salon chair) and was hella expensive, but I don't care cause I love it so much. I am also wearing my hair straight now (and almost never in a ponytail ) so its a pretty big change for me. I like the color, I like the cut, and most of all I like that I don't get confused with an 18 -20 year old anymore. I know that eventually I will be glad that I look young but right now I am just damn tired of being confused with a stupid little undergrad.

Another exciting bit is that I have finally buckled down and started working on my paper. I have put myself on a pretty tight deadline and hopefully I will get it all done. It won't be fun, but I just keep thinking about how sweet it will be when I am finally finished with it. In other school news, I have a pretty crap schedule for next semester as I decided to suck it up and take 2 or 3 classes that cover material on the bar. I am sure it will be kinda hellish but hopefully it will make studying for the bar a little less horrifying this summer, and its not all sadness I will be taking a class on children in the courts and hopefully a family law internship so those should help balance out my schedule. Currently I am also signed up for an accounting class for attorneys next semester so watch out world yours truly is going to be working with numbers. This can only lead to tragedy and tears. Whose tragedy and tears it will be has yet to be determined.

Well that is it for now. PR (professional responsibility for you non-lawyers) is coming to a close so my post must end. And before you ask yes I am aware of the irony of doing the unprofessional act of blogging during my PR class, but believe me if you were in here you would be surfing the web too.