My name Is

With the upcoming graduation, providing of course that I don't fail out, I will no longer be an apathetic law student. So for that reason I must re-name my blog. Thoughts? So far the front runner is "How Did I End Up Like Ally McBeal" as I never thought I would be a single 20-something attorney who is kinda searching for herself yet her I am. And lets face it I am kinda quirky like her...I mean I don't see any dancing babies or anything but I have my moments. Um other options have been thrown out such as "How Did I End Up Here," "Ramblings of a Frazzled Mind" Thoughts on these or possible others? Vote now and vote often.

Wrath of the Math

So in a strange and sad twist of events my crazy-ass Accounting for Attorneys professor has decided that our exam for our 1 hour class should be about 1-2 hours (we are given 3) which by the way is too long in my humble opinion. And in the best part (ie the crazy part) of this exam news is that we are not allowed a formula sheet nor a calculator. Okay so I can pretty much be okay with the whole no formula thing but his reasoning is seriously flawed. In his view "real" attorneys wouldn't use a formula because you don't have time to look at your notes in the practice of law. What crack is he smoking? Yeah your right as attorneys we must do everything by memory. "Oh you don't remember all the small details of an important part of your case? Well too damn bad, you can't look at your notes." Has he never seen anyone practice? I have seen numerous attorneys and judges who take a minute to read over notes. Its really not that big of a deal. And if math is coming into play then everyone, including the judge, whips out palm pilots or cell phones and does the calculations. No freak out over the break or the use of calculators. However in my profs' crazy little world, attorneys don't use calculators because the power could go out. Um...riiiiight. What attorneys are these? Cause in my internship office we have calculators everywhere and they also happen to be solar powered. I just don't understand his logic he is like doing long division is just something you should be able to do as an attorney/accountant. Well okay fine I can do it but I don't think we should rely on my mental math skills especially not in some hypothetical future situation where millions of dollars are at sake. What dumb ass wants someone who does financials by pen and paper?! Is it really worth potentially losing your clients a bunch of money so that you can kick it old school? Calculators were made for a reason and that reason is poor math skills. Grr... this class has been nothing buy a pain in my ass from day one and I see nothing is going to change here on the last day. I swear to goodness if I fail this class based on math errors that could have easily been avoided by actually using technology I will "hop on him" and kick some f'in ass.

Why Don't You Get a Job?

Well I am constantly trying and finally some of that effort is paying off. Thanks in large part to Alexis' tip I now have a job interview for a public defender position in the Upstate. Hooray!! Big time excitement! I was really starting to freak out about being forever jobless and fate has decided to throw me a bone with this interview. Even if I end up not getting it, I have at least been given a scrap of hope that I will not end up living in a cardboard box and talking to my imaginary cat. Huzzah!

Call Me

So good times moment of the day: my cell phone went off hella loud in the middle of class. Oh and have I mentioned that the ring is "Pop Goes My Heart" from "Music and Lyrics" and that evidently my ringer was set on high so it was ridiculously loud? Oh Yeah, super embarrassing. Sigh...good thing I wasn't in court.

Move Along

So in the newest installment in the annoying actions of law students that tick me off I suggest the habit of coming in late and then snagging someone else’s seat. There are multiple levels of this annoyance.

Firstly, being late is rude. Sure everyone is late sometimes from something coming up last minute but many people in my 9 o’clock class make a habit of it. If I can get my Secured Transactions- hating ass out of bed then so can you!

And then they always have the same excuse, “yeah parking was a bitch. I couldn’t find a spot anywhere.” Well, no shit! You are 3Ls and parking has been ridiculously bad the entire time we have been here. Of course, you are not going to get one of the precious parking meters within a block of the law school when you roll in at 9 for 9:10 classes. Pretty much everyone else in the school, except for paid parking space people like yours truly and hard-core pit parkers, are vying for those spaces and they actually got here on time. Here are pretty much your parking options: a) put your name on a list at least a year in advance to spend minimum $50 a month to guarantee a parking space in a private lot; b) getting here about by about 8:15 to guarantee a meter and proceed to have to feed the meter for the rest of the day; c) park in BFE by 8:40ish and hoof it to class (or maybe if you are lucky just hoof it to the bus stop then ride in style up the hill), or d) Arrive after 8:15 to drive around for about 30 minutes pissed about the lack of meter spaces within a mile radius of the law school. Then give up and realize that it is now too late and you must park in that area beyond BFE that isn’t even paved or graveled. Now hire a sherpa to help lead you to class and piss off your classmates for being late. Those are really your only options besides just saying screw it and stay at home. So just grow up and choose a,b, or c like the rest of us.

Finally, why are you taking someone else’s seat?! Sure your assigned seat is smack dab in the middle of the row, but really that is your own damn fault. I mean you should have been here on time on seating chart day. Once again if I and most everyone else dragged their asses here than so should have you. I understand that you probably think you are helping by not climbing the 8 people between you and your goal, but what do you think is going to happen when said “borrowed” seat person arrives? And you know they will cause someone always arrives later than you and do to Murphy’s Law that person will be the one now without a seat. You taking his seat causes him to be all confused and stand there desperately trying to process this turn of events. Unfortunately for all of us their sleep or alcohol from the night before addled mind can’t comprehend this turn of events so they just stand there looking dumb and causing a distraction. Finally the light clicks on, they give you, the seat stealer, a dirty look and usually let out a loud sigh then they proceed to climb over the 8 people you didn’t to take your seat. All you have done is extend your interruption of class to include this next person. Instead of the 30 seconds of you climbing over people 5 minutes after class began, we have the 5 minute extravaganza that is this other person about 20 minutes into class. So thanks!

World Spins Madly On*

So as you have all guessed from my blog name and much of its content, especially my first post and my beat down list, I pretty much hate law school and highly dislike many of my schoolmates. I mean I really really do hate it but sometimes just saying that isn't enough. I mean a picture is worth a thousand words right? So I decided to post a video that was made by schoolmates of mine for our annual talent/no-talent show entitled Curious Life of Law Students. It pretty much sums up most of the sketchy ass people in law school and many of the reasons that I hate them all. Personally I could have come-up with a few other notable groups like "the overzealous gunner" (see 'Tis the Season for my rant on them), the "Trying desperately to get in her professor's pants" girls, the "Law Review or Die" crowd, or "Oh I don't want to actually practice, I'm just here for a rich husband" devotees...but all in all a good little commentary on law school. Please also notice that the directors refer to this video as a documentary and not a mocumentary as each of these "characters" really do exist and thrive at law school. And the saddest thing about this video is that outside a small group of us (who already live a jaded, bitter law school hatin' lives) most of the school probably didn't get that it was mocking the f'ed up little world that is law school and their part in making it spin madly on.

*excellent song by The Weepies

"Don't Fuck with the Babysitter!"

Truer words have never been spoken. Hell hath no fury like a pissed-off teenager making 6 bucks an hour to watch some little brats when she would rather be anywhere else.

And why am I talking about this you may ask? Well, its because I have just discovered the next horrific stop in Hollywood's attempt to ruin every classic movie with a remake as mentioned in Alexis' blog. What piece of my childhood are they messing with now, you ask? Well as you have most likely already guessed by the title of this post, Disney, in a moment of memory-crushing glory,is remaking "Adventures in Babysitting" and it will star Raven and Miley Cyrus (of Hannah Montana and being Billy Ray Cyrus' daughter fame).

For the love of all that is holy, why?!! First and foremost, this movie should never be remade. I mean it just shouldn't. It is one of those movies that everyone growing up in the 1980s has seen (or should have seen) and looks back on with nostalgia. If you say something about "No one leaves this place without singing the blues" most people our age are going to know what you are referencing. And no one will ever better than Elizabeth Shue as Chris. Please tell me what girl between the ages of 22-30 has not at one point danced around to "And Then He Kissed Me" with the curtain wrapped around her head a la Elizabeth Shue's opening scene (or at least wanted to)? In fact, just tonight Alexis and I were reminiscing about this very scene. And Disney must we really pour salt into my open wounds by casting Raven "I can't act my way out of a paper bag if my life depended on it" Simone and Hannah Montana??? Why not just cast that annoying Corbin Bleu kid with the crazy hair and really bring on the pain?

Disney, I am begging you please please please don't do this! Have we learned nothing from the slaying of another 1980's classic when "Can't Buy Me Love" was butchered into the horrible "Love Don't Cost a Thing"?! Leave my childhood alone and go back to making "Cinderella 13: Lucifer the Cat's Revenge" or "Mighty Ducks 10: The Retirement Years." Disney just move on because Chris Parker had it right when she warned, "Don't Fuck with the Babysitter."

I Hate Everything About You

Overheard on main campus by an angry undergrad screaming into his phone: "She is a shit and hope she suffers..." Nothing like love and compassion to make the world a little brighter.

You're the Cocaine

And this one time I was so strung out I decided that it would be really cool if I snorted my dad's ashes

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight! You can always count on Keith Richards to take it to that next level.